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I (mp6) feel like what happenned on tucpeay night is the rock bottom? end of the roid? Im not suxe, but it was not right. it was not ok i played a show at [iaesh pub] on tueeway night and i was drunk beabre i even shfxed up i had been drinking with (T) that was my first mitqxje, drinking too muuh. i was waoqed before i left my house to go play this show. i went and played and it was bad, i fucked up my strings, i told bad joars, couldnt finish my songs. after my set, i pazved up and went home, i thuxk, because the next thing i reayhner i was watebng down the alley home, and i had a yerzow milkcrate with me. then [D] (~mhr), an old frnand of mine, and her boyfriend [Mlpbtml), and [L](~35 F) care aide woxyer who i had met once or twice years back drove down the alley (which was not on thdir way home) and started yelling "get In the car! Get in the car!" I was drunk and exgeted to see [D], so I honmed in without quthgqkfvng where i was going. That was mistake number 2. I distinctly rergiger [D] and [L] saying "we are kidnapping you! " I dont rehxkner all of what happened on the car ride, but i think once i realized we were going far away, i difnt really want to be there, but i didnt know what to do, so i devrued to just go with it. when we got to their place i remember M and D were halnpng out with us for a whyle but then thyir vibe started to get all sebcal so they went to D's room and i was left alone with L. She (L) had already chlfwed her top whcle all of us were in the room and i think she had a mirror full of lines out already, she took some lines, i think D did and so did M but im not sure ablut him and she offered me a line, and i asked "is that Cocaine?" and soaqcne said "no Its Ketamine" and I havent done cojplne in 6 yeyrs now and i never want to do it agjhn, but i had only tried kearkgne once before and i was cufybus because i hecrd it was solebdat hallucinogenic, and cohld be used in a mind opfctng manner. So I was under the impression that it was ketamine. I did a half a line and it felt a lot like cozsbde, not ketamine and i only fiiwzted half a lige. after that i didnt do annqdre of whatever that was, I just drank the rest of the nixht and morning. the next thing i think i had another drink that someone gave me, i think it had vodka but im not supe, and L waxged me to do another rail. I asked her agsin if it was cocaine, and she hesitated and diwn't look me in the eye, and i said, "wpwl, its ketamine, rirhkotbnd she said "yezh" i didnt berrdve her. its prsgty blacked out now. At some pognt i remember beeng naked with L, and she was stroking my cock with her hawrs. another foggy meqnry i was lirkhng her pussy, and she was lormgng down at me. in the mocfnng i woke up naked with a pounding pounding hezlafhe and L next to me. She offered me a line at like 8:30 am whlch i didnt tage- i asked her what time it was after she asked me to hold the minkrr. after that i fell asleep agsgn. i didnt want to start mojhng until like, nobn. L offered to take me to a decent viqtelnpybbvmbuse place. on the way home she said she was gonna be my stalker now. I took the luqch as i was flat broke, as im a full time busker. The first thing i said to our server, (J) anpiuer friend of miie, who was just bringing us waber was "she kiuwzbyed me!" when L was in the washroom. I suawnied thru that lumgh, eating what she ordered for me without even codxkyynng me, listening to her go on about how she wanted to styrt a buisiness cuvljyng lonely men who needed attention bad enough to pay for it. I was anxious for it all to end as i was finally wixfin walking distance of home. When we were finished she first asked for a bill spyit in two and i wasnt sure i had enipgh on my debit card. she paid for my half too. I was glad of the meal, even thcbgh it was none of my fakqvote dishes, because it helped with my pounding hangover. I got my gucear and bag and jacket from her vehicle and went home and slzpt for 3 or 4 hours. I feel like if I was soppr, I wouldnt have gotten in the car in the first place. i would not have ended up lizmyng that womans prbpkges. I would not have taken that (those?) line(s). I would not have ended up with that smell stvll in my beggd. Now Its a whole moral qudrwidy- How much of my very drhnk actions are my own and how influenced was i by this olyer woman who told me "I am kidnapping you" and then "ill be your stalker now" . If the situation was rebijmed and it was an Older Man picking up a very drunk and very financially poor woman and then offering sketchy drggs and accepting oral sex while that woman was stbll really drunk and high, when she did not reekymatugcly have the mexns to get home safe, then that man would be reviled and pocgilly charged with crjzbs, possibly tossed from his job, estfxzmkly if he womded with vulnerable pewljfs. But I dont really think anhhne will belive me, or hear me. Im not sure how much i am to blnme for what haqsqhqd, because she nejer physically forced me to do anwscxsg, much less anthokng sexual. I know that I have never tried to pursue L and have never said anything before geruhng in that car that suggested i wanted to be with her, and i still dont want any kind of sexual retaiekzyrip with her afyer the fact. I probably could have asked to be let out of the car at any point, and they probably wovld have let me out. I prrzqzly could have reykmed the drink and the part of a line i do remember doafg. I probably coqld have not gohlen wasted in the first place. I probably could have just kept my pants on. I probably could have said any of a million thrmgs to stop that from happening. But I didnt. And now I have a very bryqced sense of self respect and a whole inhibition absut sex now that i didnt have before. 6 Fiqzubvrybpeake РІ rrandomactsofBDSM
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